Day Eleven: Saturday, March 18, 2017
I slept in this morning until 8:00. That’s very unusual. Even when I have the opportunity to sleep in, I’m usually awake by 6:30 since I’m up between 5:45-6:30 nine days out of ten, it’s what my body is used to. Sleeping in until 8 was great.
I no longer wake up needing coffee. I’m drinking it anyway right now because I enjoy coffee but once my supply of coffee pods and coconut milk run out, whichever is first, I think I’m going to quit. I’d rather use the grocery funds for something to make breakfast easier because I’m really struggling with breakfast. I really dislike getting up in the morning and having to spend so much time on food. As I meal plan today, I’m going to find easy, compliant, filling breakfast ideas to try out. I’m also going to try to get away from the idea of breakfast, lunch, dinner and do what Whole30 recommends and go with Meals 1, 2, and 3. Either way, Meal 1 needs to be easy.
I had to pull out a pair of jeans I haven’t worn in month or two this morning because the two I rotate through right now are both in need of washing. I really didn’t want to put on the older jeans because I was concerned that if they didn’t fit any differently, my motivation would wane. But put them on I did because 1) I refuse to live in fear of upsetting my motivation and 2) I need to wear pants out in public. I wish I could say that they fit dramatically different, but I can’t. There is a noticeable difference, but it’s very small. The good news is that, it’s ok. Expecting to see a dramatic difference (even if how I feel is dramatically different) in just ten days of doing nothing but eating better is ridiculous.
I feel like I’m already in a better place. I don’t want to give up on the Whole30 because I FEEL BETTER physically and emotionally. I can honestly look at myself and say, without sarcasm or condemnation, that eating right alone isn’t going to give me the total transformation I am trying to achieve. It’s time I added exercise to my Whole30. And surprisingly, I’m not dreading the idea. I’m not jumping for joy but just like with the extra work it takes to eat right, exercise is necessary to my health and to reach my long-term goals.
That said, I will be looking at a plan-based exercise routine to start out. Something that can let me function within a restricting environment, similar to the Whole30 rules. For now, I know that’s the best thing to keep me on track.
Day Twelve: Sunday, March 19, 2017
I’m in a strange place today. I don’t want to give up the Whole30 because I love the way I feel and I love that I’m not in pain every time I eat. But I am So. Sick. Of every meal being a production. Sigh. I miss the convenience of eating poorly. I miss that food can be entertainment. I may not miss it so much if I wasn’t the only one in the family doing Whole30, but I think I’d still miss it. I miss running out and getting milkshakes with the family. (Let’s be honest, I miss milkshakes and every other kind of ice cream.) I miss planning a dinner date with friends and not having to agonize over where to eat.
We have home group tonight. I made a Whole30 compliant potato salad so that I can eat, plus a friend is being kind and pulling out a bit of his pulled pork before he adds his seasoning to it. Eating this way is WORK.
To be truthful, I don’t miss most of the food. I’ve started randomly thinking about things I used to eat to see if I miss it. I used to eat taquitos from QT all the time (so, so unhealthy). I loved them. Don’t miss it and will probably never eat them again unless I’m totally backslidden. Mac and cheese and gooey lasagna and other foods that I really do like, all sound good, but I don’t MISS them. A few I do miss are: Tacos with refried beans. Eating a taco would be nice. I can see me figuring out how to add taco’s back occasionally after Whole30. The problem with taco’s is that, the way I like them, I mean REALLY like them, violates EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. Of the Whole30 no-no’s. I guess if I want taco’s I’ll either be adding them to the “it’s worth suffering for” list or figuring out how to eat them more Whole30 compliant. The big one for me, though, is ice cream. I MISS ICE CREAM. I miss milkshakes. I miss eating ice cream at night while we watch a movie.
All and all, though, my list of ‘definitely going to reintroduce’ is pretty small.
As of today, the foods I know I am going to try and reintroduce are:
I’m not going to bother reintroducing all the taco stuff. I already know those are going to be a once in a while treat that will undoubtedly cause me issues. I should probably reintroduce milk and milk products just to confirm that they are the main cause of my GI issues but I really don’t WANT to reintroduce milk. I’m hoping the ice cream will be enough. I should also reintroduce bread for the same reason, and probably will just to see how I react to it because I’m sure there will come a time when I find myself unable to say no to something bread. KNOWING that I can’t tolerate it will make saying no much easier. Also, an occasional flour shell with my beloved Mexican food would be nice.
So, really, this should have been the ‘day 15 I’m halfway through this’ post but I needed to put words to paper to help me know where I am so it’s easier to get through this mild struggle.
One note just because of full disclosure. I’ve been hungry the last few days. Not sure if it’s because I’ve been lazier with my lunch and dinner or something different. Today when I made the potato salad, I munched a good bit. It’s the first time I’ve allowed myself just to eat when it’s not been one of the three meals. At one point I thought – I’m sick of this, I’m going to just eat anything I want as long as it’s compliant. The thought scared me and it scared me how quickly I was willing to agree. I didn’t do it, thankfully, because I understand that violates the spirit of the program and has more to do with my psychological and emotional state than hunger. I wish I knew why I’m at this place of feeling like I’m ‘craving’. It’s frustrating.
Oh, and I took the before pic off as my phone lock screen. I’m committed to this and don’t need the reminder. Plus I was sick of seeing it.